Whether you are young or older, we all at some point in our lives was undervalued in some form in a relationship where we wanted to be accepted and loved by someone. And for many of us that acceptance or true love never came, and we experience this painful gut wrenching thing call rejection. And we’ve carried this rejection hurt, pain throughout our lives in and out of relationships, friendships, partnerships etc. never really healing from the first broken heart or disappointment. All those emotions become baggage that we subconsciously carry from one relationship to another. For some of us we’ve tried to live with the pain. For some people, they become the very thing they have once been hurt by. And for others they become closed off, angry and bitter never truly allowing love or anyone into their lives. They literally become cripple by the fear of rejection.
I wrote this book because I too was a victim of rejection but instead of being overcome by the spirit of fear I decided to use rejection as motivation. I then realized that as painful and as difficult as an experience rejection was it was also a blessing that open doors to new possibilities. The failed relationships were all working for my good. They were successful, yes successful because they accomplish exactly what I needed, to be able to carry. (Remember this word).
Rejection creates fear. Fear keeps you in bondage.
A lot of people enter a relationship hoping that they would find true love and acceptance. And for many people we try our best to show a great face, show the best side of us so that we can win the person we’re attracted to over. We put in all efforts to get this person to accept us that we sort of lose our selves in pleasing them, because we’re no longer thinking of us but rather what will make this person like you more. We give gifts and put in our time, our space, and our bodies all in hopes that we would be accepted and loved. Some even begin to devalue or lower their standards to fit in or to be accepted. And this is the mistakes we make all too often that leads to heartbreaks, disappointments, and rejection, because we give so much of ourselves to someone that cannot do the same for whatever reasons. Your value has now depreciated, that person no longer see’s any value or cannot see your worth, so they reject you although you were doing everything you could.
Now you’ve experience rejection not just because of the person’s immaturity or unwillingness to love you, but meanly because you give too much to a person that could not understand or accept it because they themselves don’t know or can’t appreciate your all. So, we must accept responsibility for our parts. We give too much to a person that could not receive it in hopes to change them. So, the rejection comes as a result, then the hurt, the pain and eventually rejection becomes fear and that fear keeps you in bondage.
You may say how or why? Because of the rejection you’re feeling angry, lost, empty, and confused which opened the door to the spirit of fear and you began to think that “maybe I’m not good enough” or “maybe I’ll never find love”. Then you begin to make choices based on the fear of rejection you’ve experienced. So, you find yourself saying things like. “I’m never dating again, I’m sorry for the next person. I can’t go through another relationship again” etc. You become closed off and isolate yourself from the possibility of love. Your decisions are now based on or stem from the fear of being rejected. This is bondage, you are in bondage to your fear.